By Bergen Eickhoff

I was almost too intimidated to join Proclaim.

I know that never feeling Queer enough is a part of the modern bisexual/nonbinary condition. Still, I was apprehensive to join an organization filled with living Lutheran legends. As a closeted Queer kid in small-town Minnesota, Proclaim members were the legendary defenders of a bright future I needed to believe in even though it felt far away. How could I now be in the same group as my heroes when I was just a mere intern pastor?

I joined Proclaim in 2020. So it’s safe to say that my experience in Proclaim has been marked by instability. Heartbreak. Hurt. Change upon change upon change. Like the wider Lutheran church, ELM and Proclaim are in a period of self-discovery. Gone are the days of growth and advancement. Here are the days of discernment, adaptation, accountability, advocacy, and change upon change upon change.

Self-discovery is a beautiful period of life, but one defined by pain. To quote Jimmy Eat World, “We’re in the middle of the ride.” Everything might be alright one day. But not until we endure a lot of struggle and the seemingly endless onslaught of questions and tasks of becoming. Being in Proclaim and ELM right now feels like writing the perfect poem but struggling to come up with an appropriate ending.

When I was discerning an invitation to become the Proclaim relator to the ELM Board, I felt that all too familiar intimidation returned. Proclaim, to me, seemed in need of healing. I am a pretty new pastor. I’m still pretty new to being out. What place did I have in that healing process?

I still don’t know what place I have in the healing process of Proclaim. But my discernment told me that I have a place in the self-discovery process. We in Proclaim, in ELM, in the Church, in the world, are being called to change. And as Queer people of faith, we trust that the call to change is a holy call from God in the Holy Spirit. When the world screams at us to be normal, we respond by changing with the brilliant and loud enthusiasm as a Lollapalooza crowd singing “Hot to Go.” When the church tells us it isn’t ready for our change, we reform it by sharing our transformation loud and proud like a Pride parade. We do this because we know our change is holy.

Now is the time for us to give attention to the millions of ways that each of us individually and collectively are being called by God to change. We’re in for some holy chaos in the middle of this ride. But leaning into that call to change is what we’ll need to do if we want to get to a place where everything might once again feel alright.

And that’s why I’m here. As the new Proclaim relator to the ELM Board, I am here to give attention to your call to change. Proclaimers, use my Calendly page to schedule a time to meet with me, and tell me about how you are called to change and how Proclaim or ELM is called to change in this moment. I promise never to minimize or put down your call to change. My commitment is to be a presence in the world of ELM and Proclaim whom you can trust to carry your call to change. And I will do everything I can to prove worthy of your trust by representing your call to change in ELM’s self-discovery process.

It’s going to take some time to heal. Especially as America is kind of a political tirefire right now. But I hope that these conversations about your call to change help make ELM and Proclaim a community that sustains and nourishes your vocation to love and serve in this weary world.

Please do not be too intimidated to find a time to talk. Please do not be too intimidated to dive into the middle of Proclaim and ELM’s questions of self-discovery. As we figure out how we’re called to change, we don’t need legend and heroes.

We need you. Thanks be to God that you’re here.

Peace,

Pastor Bergen Eickhoff (they/them)

P.S. If you’d like to get in touch with Bergen or the ELM board, please reach out via board@elm.org

Bio: Bergen Eickhoff (they/them) is a pastor, poet, and mercenary pianist living in Tacoma, Washington. They currently work in Children, Youth and Family ministry in Olympia, Washington, where they enjoy great Music and better coffee. They are bisexual and nonbinary, and love to be loud about both of those identities. They have been a member of Proclaim since 2021 and currently serve as the Proclaim Relator To the ELM Board. You can find their writings on their Substack pages (Standard) (Bible Rewrite Project). Go be Queer!